Slowing down to speed up

I’m a napper. I like naps. Through periods of my life I have terrible insomnia and napping is a way to continue working, raise kids and have some semblance of a life. Right now I’m sleeping pretty well and life has a better balance. I still like naps.

In the past few months I’ve updated on FB that I’m about to take a nap. Or that I need a nap. Or that I just had the best nap-you get the idea. The response I get is just amazing to me. I can’t believe

that people have such strong reactions to the idea that I’m actually resting in the middle of my day.

I’ll admit my first reaction is often to justify. To explain that I teach early morning classes or that I teach a lot or that when I cook it means being on my feet and working long, hard hours. Or that I don’t really have a day off. I have flexibility, but I work on some level every day. But that’s really more about me than them and the point is that we all need to slow down, no matter how busy our lives are.

Slowing down to speed up is one of the best lessons I’ve learned as a yogini, a mom and a business owner. I know it sounds silly to some, but if you can take some time just for yourself you will be a more productive and happy person. When I take time to just breathe or to rejuvenate or to let my mind be quiet I am so much better at being Melissa than when I wake up at 5am and go full blast until I can’t stand up anymore or bedtime comes, whichever is first. When I create space in my life I feel spacious and open and gracious and loving.  And I’m a better mom, wife and teacher for it.

I won’t deny that I went through my prideful Martha Stewart phase,

Gratitude and our chakras

There’s no real gratitude chakra, but I feel like there should be. I feel like we yoga teachers should be asking our students where they feel gratitude. Where do you? Where do you feel that sense that things are good and you’re happy to have it good? In you gut? In your heart? At the base of who you are?

Our sense of well-being comes from the root chakra, but is gratitude about a sense of well-being? I honestly don’t know. There is disagreement about whether the heart, naval or  sacral chakra gets to claim gratitude.

I know that when I feel lucky to be alive, lucky to be a mom, lucky to know my husband and lucky to have work that I’m passionate about and constantly challenged by I feel that my heart is full. At the best times I feel that if life got any better my heart might burst. It almost hurts. I’m one of those rare people that when things are really awesome, really touching…like the fireflies lighting up the steamy July night as my kids run half naked across the vast green lawn laughing wildly, when times are that amazing…I cry. Well, I get that lump. And if I can’t swallow it down I do actually cry.  I can’t help it. I just do.

Embarrassingly enough I also cry at almost any concert or performance. I am just so overwhelmed by people sharing their creative energy and having the guts to belt a tune, emote, twist, float, soar and be their most authentic selves. And if that’s not amazing enough I’m humbled by their ability and willingness to share it with me.

My gratitude list today is about how I feel as well.

I’m grateful for….

1.  My Family…..My kids and my husband really put up with a lot and stand behind me and help me be a better person. I feel tickled, lucky and so damn grateful that they allow me the space to be me. I’m not easy and on a daily basis at least one of them is happy to see me, wants my opinion and kisses/hugs/snuggles with me.

2. Blogging….I know this sounds kooky, but I LOVE blogging. I love spewing my mind and knowing that at least two people read it and one sometimes comments. I feel very lucky that I’m inspired/stupid/creative enough to enjoy doing it so much. I’ve always wanted to write and now I get to. It’s a feeling of freedom and happiness. Sometimes it’s stress and feeling less than worthy/able and just plain dread.

3. Being 40. Really, is this not awesome? I can’t imagine that there’s a better age. I love the sense of power/love/strength/clarity I have now that I’ve entered my 40s. I hope 5o is better, but I’m kinda doubting it. So I’m just going to live it up for the next ten years! I guess the feeling is luck, incredulity, and glee.

4. The friends that make me look forward to my life…….yeah, kinda long. Kinda cheezy, but I’m ok with it.  I have always had wonderfully strong, awesome women in my life. From all ages and all walks of life I have learned so much. Recently, I have been blessed enough to fall in with a wonderful group of strong, “quality, mojo women”. They remind me of who I am, who I was and who I can be. Thank you. The only feeling here is gratitude.

5. Resilience. By the Grace of Somebody I learned to be resilient. There were a lot of years I thought the hurt would swallow me up. I thought that the bad was bigger than me and I would just be scooped up by it. Luckily, I had some weird inner reservoir of strength and I held on. And I’m so happy/thankful/lucky I did. Because now it’s good and I wouldn’t be here without the bad. So the feeling is love. I know it’s weird, but it really is. My heart is full when I think of how far I’ve come and how my life is good and full and happy now. My life is not perfect, but I’m able to find that place where I can find some peace and good in it.

Namaste

 

It’s Gratitude MONTH!

Hi.

I know.

It’s been awhile.

How’ve you been? Did you think I just disappeared? Sometimes it felt like it. It’s actually been a month since I blogged. I can’t believe it.

And I’m sorry.

Although there are only about ten people who read my blog, I’ve actually heard from quite a few of you asking what’s wrong and when I’m going to blog again. I’m really trying to get motivated.

October was tough. It’s one of my favorite months and it seemed to be very busy and it also seemed to go very fast. AND it seemed that every time I opened this page I couldn’t bring myself to write anything. Is that writer’s block? Well, it happens and I’m going to cut myself some slack and let it be okay. I have a few drafts in the works and a new idea. A November-centric idea.

The idea is about how to be a better blogger. At least for this month. Next month will probably present new problems. But this month is a whole month that we focus on gratitude. I mean…!!!!!!!!!

So today, it’s just five things I’m grateful for. I encourage you to write down your five. I thought, originally, that I’d post ten. That seemed like a lot of work. So, while I’m cutting myself some slack I’ll just focus on five. I think it’s important to be okay with your limitations. And I actually mean that. We’re heading into the land of “this year will be better than last year” and “our party is going to be the best ever” and of course, “I’ll prove/show everyone/grandma/mom/auntX that I know how to celebrate the season”. We’re heading into the season of expectations and I’m inviting you all to let it go.  Just be happy. Be happy with five today.

So, here goes. Five things I’m grateful for Today.

1. My Flexible Schedule-that allows me to mop my floor in the middle of the day and have a beer with lunch.

2. Social Media-today I’ve reconnected with some old friends, twittered a go-go and blogged. 20 years ago I would have been sitting here alone mopping my floor.

3. Fall. I’m enjoying the colors. the temps, the sun blazing and even the soppy rainy days. Isn’t fall the soppiest time for rain? All that aside, it really is the best time of year.

4. My New Phone. I know, I shouldn’t love an inanimate object, but as I’ve blogged I’m not one of the tech elite. It doesn’t  take much to make me happy. My phone lets me watch tv!!!!!! I don’t own a tv and I don’t want one on all day, but I like a little NCIS every once in awhile. My phone is also a Mp3 player, although I don’t use that function. It let’s me post on FB and Twitter. It’s really more kind to me than anyone I know.

5. My Students. Really, I know I’m getting cheezier and cheezier, but I have the best students. They let me slack when I’m feeling a slump, they challenge me to get out of my slump, they praise me and love me and help me feel inspired. They’re better than my kids who have taken to yelling at me and snubbing me. I honestly have the best students ever.

Wow! Again with the cheeze, but I feel better. I feel like I could possibly blog tomorrow. I feel like maybe I’ll look forward to it because this made me feel great. Try it. Write them down. Try writing down just one or two things you’re grateful for today. If you’re as ambitious as I am try five. And better yet, if you’re ready to tackle the world try 10.

I’m trying to slip this blog into a more yoga thematic blog and really, this is all about yoga. Gratitude is a yogic principal. One day I’ll blog again about family and I’ll put it up on Mamapedia.com. Cause y’know they asked me. And I’ve been struggling with how to focus blogging and Mampedia.com helped me.

I’ll let you know when I post more pictures of George’s injuries and perhaps Lucy will even let me take a picture of her that I can post someday.

Really, I guess I’m trying to say thank you. Thanks for letting me slack and loving me nonetheless. Thank you for coming here time after time and believing the promises I make.

Five things. That’s all it takes to have a better day.

Yogini or Goddess?

I often lead just a little bit of yoga in some unexpected places. I’m asked to warm people up at conferences, classes or even in church to open up the creative juices, get ready for meditation or get the blood flowing in the late afternoon.

So I lead them these mostly non-yogis through a short bit of circling arms, belly breathing and basic sun salutation that only involves Tadasana, Uttanasana Arha Uttanasana, which is standing, bending

and then bending half-way down before standing again. People invariably let me know how wonderful it is and I’m floored that they respond so enthusiastically to such a small amount of movement. This is when i feel the urge to recruit.

I constantly struggle with the question of exactly what am I supposed to be doing as a yoga teacher. Am I teaching poses? Am I leading a yoga session? Am I just creating space and time for students to get quiet and listen. But more and more I’m feeling like I’m some kind of motivational/inspirational yoga bullhorn.

And the more I start preaching, the more I have to remind myself to be gentle with people and treat them like sweet children. Because, really, people know what they need. They know what they’re not doing and they know what they should be doing. At least the people who are brave enough to chat with the yoga teacher after ten minutes of movement. Those are the people, I finally realize, that are just looking for a little encouragement. They’re ready to start taking those little baby steps. Their shaky smiles and shy glances are a way of connecting with yoga, even if it is just to acquaint themselves with a yoga teacher.

Muladhara-The Root Of It All

Chakra work is something that has fascinated me and scared me at the same time. I think the opening of the chakras can be incredible profound work, but as a teacher there is so much information about the chakras that I have avoided teaching anything but the most basic of information. This fall I decided to bite the bullet and teach what I know. After all, yoga is not about perfection. It’s about being on the path and the progress. And my students forgive me many things. They will take what I have and not berate me for what I don’t.