I committed to this 30 posts in 30 days idea completely on my own. I don’t know why. It wasn’t an idea that someone put in my head. I thought I was original and now I find that it’s really not a new idea at all. There are even web sites devoted to the idea. Check out www.nablopomo.com for support, guidance and inspiration for posting every day for a month. (Thanks, Vikki for the info.)
Okay, so I’m not original. That’s okay.
What is killing me is my time stamp. It’s off. Last night I posted at 10:30 and it showed up as today’s post. Then I looked at the calendar and it shows that I missed a day of posting. Okay, I know this is really for me and the most important thing is that I set this goal and I meet it. Yet, it really bothers me that it shows I didn’t post on April 2. Nor can I find a way to adjust it or reset it. And I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that this Really bothers me.
And then I started thinking more and more about the time stamp and wondering why it bothers me so much. Is it a metaphor? For what? You may be wondering too. And I’m not sure, but I do know that it bothers me and I know that alone makes it significant.
Yoga teaches us to let go of attachment, but I’ve also been taught to be responsible about my attachment. If I have a problem, then I have to own up to it. I could sit around and bitch and moan about the time stamp or I could look to myself and wonder why I’m so harassed by something so insignificant.
Societally we’re not good at taking responsibility for ourselves. We have “reasons” for our behaviors and they’re never about us. We complain and whine and bitch about how someone has made us do something. We explain over and over how someone else’s behavior has made us take action in a way we never would have otherwise. In short, we make excuses.
So I’ve tumbled this problem of the time stamp around in my brain. I’ve tried to decide if I should do my 30 and not worry about what the calendar says or if I should start over so at the end I can look and see 30 days highlighted. I haven’t fully decided yet, but I’m leaning toward just putting my nose down and working and not worrying about the outside forces.
I am supposed to be learning something here. I’m just not sure what. If I figure it out I’ll let you know. If it’s really obvious and I’m oblivious, please tell me.
Added note: I caved and fixed the time stamp. Well, mostly because I finally figured out how to do it. So if you look at the calendar every day is highlighted at is should be. I did this for two reasons. One it was really bugging me and two, I was tired of having to figure out when I needed to write to make the time stamp behave. I have enough to think about with just figuring out what to write. Since I now know how to edit it I have fixed the two days in question, there are no repeat days and now I will leave it alone.