Today I’m grateful and what do you know, it’s Wednesday. It’s funny how that works and not necessarily a coincidence. The theory behind being
grateful is twofold. Being grateful teaches us to appreciate all that we have, to look at the little things as well as the big things and to learn that the pain that may be now will pass and we will move back into a grateful state once again. And actually that sentence in itself brings up more than two issues, but I’m moving on anyway.
The other aspect is that when we put out good energy in the form of our gratefulness then it comes back to us. We are telling the universe/god/goddess/buddha that we like these good things and we are rewarded with more of it (I use the term rewarded very loosely). Well there’s a theory that if I’m only being grateful on Wednesday then I will only get things to be grateful for on Wednesday. Today I got that message loud and clear.
I’d like to stop right here and say that I’m very comfortable using terms like universe, god, goddess, buddha, the Big one interchangeably because that’s how I think about it. I’m not a believer in any specific, but simply a higher power. If I offend, I’m sorry it is not my intention. I’m not trying to be flippant, but rather to be inclusive.
Okay, let’s continue.
Today I applied for a job. It’s not something I’ve really been thinking about long or planned. We’ve needed someone to work more for awhile, but I’ve been holding out. I thought I just wanted to teach yoga. Because I’ve been waiting years to just focus on my yoga teaching. Because it’s my turn. I’ve worked and worked and sometimes worked two jobs and sometimes worked like ten women at home and I thought, this is my chance to just do what I want and only what I want. I felt entitled.
Well, there’s no easier way to make the universe want to fuck with you. Entitlement does not sit well with goddess. Not only is it a not-very-nice feeling, entangled with false pride and superiority, but what you’re feeling entitled to is almost surely centered in your fear and not necessarily what’s good for you. So the universe was not interested in what I thought I was entitled to. And that’s how I got a job interview today.
Some people, not a lot, know that I’ve spent the last five years or so cooking professionally. I have only done it full-time for about half of that time, I’m self-taught and I’m a little shy about it. Why? Because I think I’m good. So I tend to downplay it or not bring it up at all. But today I made the jump and applied for a cooking job. Baking actually. And as I interviewed with the owner, who was unexpectedly available and unexpectedly asked me to sit down, I got excited. He thinks about food and the industry in much the same way that I do. We agree on many things and he was upfront about telling me that I was the best applicant so far. He asked me back. Asked me to a second interview. Friday. I’m baking some scones and putting together some ideas for the pastry case. I think I’ve got this job.
Additionally today I got an answer about renting space to teach yoga. Hopefully in a few weeks I’ll be starting a new session in a new studio with autonomy to run classes the way I want. No sense of entitlement, just teaching when I want, how I want…and no bitterness what-so-ever. Just the next step.
It’s not lost on me that this all fell on Gratitude Wednesday. I think, perhaps, I should expand my gratitude practice. I’ll keep writing about it on Wednesdays, though.