I’m a whirlwind. A dervish. I like movement, fast talking, fast decision making. I like things speedy and I get frustrated by things that are slow, not fast or boring.
Okay, that’s a bit of the old Melissa.
I can be a whirlwind, a dervish, a fast talking, fast acting, antsy, over-stimulated yogi. Sounds like a contradiction, huh? It’s all about progress.
I do get antsy sometimes, but I have learned how to be okay with things that are different or difficult. I am learning, I should say. I won’t lie to you and pretend that I’m perfectly content and calm while the building crumbles around me. I panic and get angry, rant and rave (more to myself these days), but when that’s over I know that walls crumbling are the way of life.
May is the month we’re learning to just be. I’m learning to accept myself, learning that I’m human and flawed and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to change. Or it can. It’s up to me and me alone.
The lesson is to learn how to lean into the discomfort. The discomfort…the hard place, is where we learn and grow. If I can be okay with the discomfort then I can learn how to accept you and me and all those around us. I can make changes that serve me and let go of that which isn’t serving me.
The hardest lesson I’ve learned is that when I get uncomfortable, it’s okay. I can use it to change or I don’t have to, but the discomfort has a purpose. So often, though, we get uncomfortable and we run. We run the other way and leave the discomfort behind. And then we miss out on the lessons. And since we don’t learn, we’re going to be that kind of uncomfortable again. We will keep getting uncomfortable until we learn how not to be.
I’ve been a runner for years. I’ve picked up and moved. I’ve ignored difficult situations. I’ve messed up and messed up and run from all my messes. It seems the universe is asking me to clean up my messes. Play time is over and if I ever want another playdate, I’m going to have to clean up after this one.
I have a life that I like. Sometimes I even love it. Okay, when I really review my life I pretty much love it all the time. I can get hyper-focused, though, on this moment and forget the big picture. Sometimes the pieces don’t fit together in ways that make me happy, but it’s kind of like the walls crumbling. That’s just life. It’s up to me to accept the way the pieces fall together. Through acceptance I can learn how to just be.
And what’s so great about learning to just be?
When I can just be I can stop feeling so agitated, antsy and bouncy. I can settle in and create all the good things I want in my life. I can help the puzzle pieces fit together in a way that is pleasing to me. I may not be able to fit them together to make the picture I thought they were going to make, but they’ll fit and it will still look nice and it will be okay.
When I just be I can feel the energy and flow of the universe. I can be present in that power/light/love that surrounds me all the time. Sometimes I forget it’s there, but it always is.
So this month the work is just to be. Be still. Be present. Be accepting. Ne happy. Be love.