Ugh, teenagers. It’s all I really have to say. But at the same time it really says it all. I am trying to keep my head, but today I lost it with my 16 year old. Yes, she’s 16 already. When I started this blog I would write about the crazy tween years. And I erroneously believed that we were going to sail through the teen years. I guess because this kid has never been easy, I thought it would be okay. I thought we could handle it, cause after all we’ve been parents for 16 years now and we’ve handled it before.
And she’s given us some doozies. There was the birthday party, was it 5th grade? or 4th grade where they all got naked and compared body parts. I had to spend the next day calling parents and apologizing and explaining that apparently I was in the next room. And it might have just been considered some pre-adolescent…I think it was 3rd grade….curiosity, but there were girls who were extremely uncomfortable and felt pressured. I still cringe thinking about it.
There was the time that she gave someone the finger, because she was showing someone how long the nail on her middle finger was. It was kindergarten and the teacher wanted to know how come she didn’t know what that meant. I guess I’m out of touch because I just kept wondering how many kindergartners knew what giving someone the finger means. BTW, the teacher didn’t see it, some little girl told on her. So, really who was the weird kid here?
There’s the fact that people give her clothes and create jobs for her because somehow she has led everyone to believe that we’re dirt poor and can’t provide for her. That one is still raw and we’re still dealing with it. One person even bought her a plane ticket so she could visit her grandmother in Chicago. Cringe, again.
So the fact that I want to rip my hair out this morning because this child who I raised to be polite and considerate, compassionate and sweet is anything but when it comes to me and I’m at the end of my rope. She is the perfect child around everyone else, but around me she’s a holy terror. And her jabs hurt a lot more than one would think.
So, today I’m fed up, I’m tired and I’m frustrated. I’m sick of every morning in the car being a battle of wills or sullen silence. I’m tired of starting my day with that energy. I’m tired of how it affects my youngest who IS still sweet and loving and compassionate. Oh, yeah LOVING. I raised her to be loving, but I think I’ve given up on that one until she has kids of her own.
BUT, having said all this I have learned a lot from my elders. I know that this is a phase, because all of my friends who have grown-up kids say it is. I know that she’ll come back because all of my friends’ kids did. I know that when she figures out who she is and what this world holds for her she will have to battle against me less. She’ll just battle in life less.
I have to believe these things. And I have to remember that is far worse to be her than to be me right now. I have to learn to take it all less personally.
So, I don’t have a lot of words of wisdom, I just have a lot of ranting and venting. I don’t have energy for pictures or other cool media. I’m out of energy. It’s 9:22am.
Between the two blogs I’m writing everyday for NaBloPoMo and some days I think it’s just going to be a little less spectacular than others. This is today. It’s only Tuesday and I want to sell my kids.